Long for the Forbidden
by HeartlessEcho
Summary: Clare was forbidden to Eli Goldsworthy. She was sweet sin, the pleasurable apple he wasn't allowed to pick off the tree. Oneshot. ElixClare


Long for the Forbidden

We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us. ~Francois Rabelais

Clare was forbidden to Eli Goldsworthy.

She was sweet sin, the pleasurable apple he wasn't allowed to pick off the tree.

Eli nearly chuckled at his thoughts. Just like Clare's guilty pleasure, Twilight. And he was her Edward Cullen.

He leaned his weight on the car, sighing deeply. Working on Morty always made him think. He had told Clare he led her on. And that nearly broke his heart.

* * *

_ "Working, I see."_

_ Eli looked up to see Clare's sweet smile, his breath leaving him at the sight of her. Why had he kissed her? He had let himself go, and now it was too late to go back without breaking her heart. Eli cursed himself for committing such a mistake. For allowing himself to hurt such an innocent, angelic creature._

_ "Yes, Captain Obvious." Eli's expression turned dark. "Can I help you? Or can you just leave?" His tone read of annoyance, but inside he was dying._

_ Clare was shocked. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to come by my house later. You know," she blushed a light tint of pink, "like a date?"_

_ Eli chuckled darkly, ridiculing the fact she had asked him that. "You really think I like you, don't you, Clare?"_

_ "We kissed…" Clare's eyebrows knit in confusion. "I thought that meant-"_

_ "It meant __**nothing**__, Clare. I was just looking for some fun, and you were the only girl around." He cast her a glance before turning back to Morty. "I thought maybe you'd understand. But I guess a girl like you is only looking for her vampire. Just let me tell you this; I'm not your Edward Cullen, so you can go look somewhere else." Each word was spit at her with venom, Eli's guilt and self anger seething through his words._

_ "Eli…"_

_ "I'm sorry I led you on." Eli's heart was now shattered into pieces. 'If only you knew how much I love you, Blue Eyes…'_

_ Clare's eyebrows rose in amazement. "Wow. And here I thought maybe we could be something." She scoffed, her words coming out in a mix of anger and disbelief. "I was wrong in trusting you, Eli… I was wrong in ever feeling even the smallest bit of love for you."_

_ 'Love?' She loved him. Eli's heart jumped with joy— But now it was too late for him. This was the right thing to do, no matter how much they loved each other. He was trying to protect her._

_ "Good bye, Eli." Clare turned on her heel and left him there, standing like an idiot. He wanted her so bad, so, so much, but this was for the best. It was best for both of them._

_

* * *

_

Why is it that he longed for things he could never have?

Eli pressed his palms against Morty's hood, sighing deeply. He wanted to run away from everyone and everything, just to hide his emotions from those beautiful blue eyes that he longed to call his.

He just couldn't have Clare. Not after _her_. He despised himself for getting so attached to that pretty smile, those sweet, pink lips, and those beautiful baby blue eyes. He couldn't get involved with Clare. Not now. Not ever.

Eli could still remember _her_ sparkling smile and those pretty hazel eyes that would twinkle whenever they saw him. _She_ was petite, barely 4 feet 10 and with the devil's attitude. But _she_ let him in. And that changed his life forever.

His mind flickered back to Clare. His Clare. Eli hadn't felt this strongly for anyone since _her_. And now, even we he was fucking fixing his car, he couldn't get her off his mind. He wiped some oil off his cheek with the back of his palm as his thoughts consumed him.

* * *

_"This isn't so bad."_

_ Eli chuckled as he watched the clouds roll by, the world seeming to disappear around them. "I told you it would be fun."_

_ Clare turned to look back at him. Her curls rolled off her cheek and curled around her lower lip, bringing attention to her smile. The color of her eyes matched the bright blue sky, and her face was heavenly illuminated by the sunlight. Eli wanted to catch this moment of beauty and keep it with him forever._

_ "It is." With a sincere smile, her hand grabbed his, squeezing softly. "Thank you." Eli knew it was more than just about the cloud watching. She was thanking him for saving her. Pulling her out of the crashing waves as she drowned in sorrow._

_ "You're more than welcome, Red." He pulled her into his arms, playing with her curls as she rested her head on his chest. There had never been a more perfect moment in Eli's life._

_ Clare pointed up at a cloud. "Look." She smiled and a pink color tinted her cheeks. "It looks like a heart."_

_ Eli's eyebrow rose. "Are you trying to tell me something?" But inside, he was scared shitless. If Clare ever confessed her love for him, if there was any, he wouldn't know what to say. He'd have to run away from her for good. Eli couldn't handle to hurt her. He couldn't hurt another girl he loved._

_ Clare shook her head, but the tint only became more pronounced. "I…"_

_ Eli's breath hitched and Clare could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest._

_ "I just really care about you, Eli. No one can understand me like you can." She gave him a genuine smile and Eli could feel his heart melt._

_ "I'm glad you say that, Blue Eyes." He smirked at her. "I would be very jealous otherwise."_

_ They both looked back at the clouds, smiling. Eli knew what he felt for her was strong, and suddenly, the feeling of being afraid, of being consumed by guilt and shame was gone. Even if just for a second._

_

* * *

_

_She_ changed his life. But now _she_ was gone. _She_ was Eli's past, and Clare was his future.

No matter how much it hurt him, he had to get over _her_. _She_ would always be in his mind and heart, but Clare now took first place in his heart.

Eli leaned back against his door, looking up at the sky. It was almost amazing how much they reminded him of Clare's beautiful eyes.

The feeling came back to him; everything was perfect when he was around Clare, no matter how much he had to restrain himself. He wanted to keep her safe, but his emotions for her were too strong.

"I'll tell you soon, Blue Eyes. I love you."


End file.
